Bedtime Ritual

I watched a badly made TV movie this week.  My husband was out of town, and I was looking to pass the evening hours after the kids were in bed.  I knew two minutes into the film that is was going to have a predictable story-line and poor acting.  I watched it anyway, strangely intrigued at how badly a movie could be made and still make it to the television.

With an introduction like that, I won't share the name of the film.  All that needs to be known is the predictable plot part. 

The movie was about a woman who relives a day in her life over and over again until she gets it right.  Overdone in Hollywood, for sure.  Yet, I was somehow genuinely happy for her when she finally learned all the lessons she was supposed to learn, the credits rolled, and I was sleepy enough to go to bed.

As I crawled between the covers, I had one loose thought rolling around in my head.

"What would I do differently tomorrow if I was reliving today?"

I closed my eyes and thought back over the details of my day.  A couple of encounters rose to the surface. 

A conversation I wished I had worked harder to infuse with gentleness.

A moment I could have siezed to spend time with my daughter.

A phone call of encouragement I meant to make and didn't.

What if tomorrow I could get a re-do?  How would I change it? 

I don't advocate living in regret.  It makes a terrible life-partner.  But, there's something to be said for evaluation.  For repentance.  For change.  For making different choices next time. 

And I did choose something different next time.  The very next day, I recognized a conversation similar to the one I had wished I could change.  And it arrested me.  I didn't want to be lying in my bed wishing I had done this one differently, too.

So, I stopped.  Slowed down.  Thought about the words.  Took my time to make it what I wanted it to be.

When I  went to bed that evening, I asked myself the same question, "What would I do differently tomorrow if I was reliving today?" And that conversation didn't make the list.

Something else did. 

"The faithful love of the Lord never ends!  His mercies never cease.  Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." 
                                                                                          - Lamentations 3:22-23