I hadn't felt well all day yesterday. It was just a cold, but one that left my head and body aching. I chose my clothes carefully, choosing to dress up for church a little more than usual. I was trying to divert attention from my stuffiness, for I find I don't like to appear weak or answer the "Are you alright?" question too often. I'm obviously still learning that in my weakness, He is made strong.
By His grace, I more than made it through the day of worship, I actually worshipped.
To worship is to take your eyes off yourself long enough to see Him for who He is and rejoice in His goodness.
Maybe it was through the act of worship that I left His house for mine actually feeling better, even though I crawled into my jammies the moment I got home.
It was at the end of the day after we had tucked in the children that I ran the hot bath and let myself sink into it, hoping it would ease the achiness. Someone once told me that you know you are an introvert or extrovert based on how you recharge. If you need to be around people to be renewed, you are definitely an extrovert. If you need to be alone to refuel your soul, you are in introvert. I believe my extreme fondness for a hot bath, candles, and a good book answers the question about which one I am.
I must have been in there close to an hour when I heard it. It was singing. I at first thought my husband must have started a movie, but I could tell after a few moments that it was coming from my daughter's room. Her little voice was soft, and I could only catch a word here or there at first. Eventually, I realized she was singing a children's song from church.
"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart to stay."
My own heart flooded with joy. What kind of person sings this song to herself upon her bed?
"And I'm so happy, so very happy, I have the love of Jesus in my heart, down in my heart. And I'm so happy, so very happy, I have the love of Jesus in my heart."
A beautiful person. A person who intuitively knows the real way to recharge is not with people or by being alone, but by being in His presence. A person who knows how to worship.
A person who is joyful always because she has found the true source of joy.
I awoke to a full day and an even fuller week, still feeling some remnants of a cold.
As I go over my calendar and try to figure out how I will be in all the needed places, ministering to all the right people, at just the right times this week, I feel the familiar tug of the overwhelming. Is there enough of me to cover it all? Is there enough love in me to meet these needs?
I find myself humming a tune.
"And I'm so happy, so very happy, I have the love of Jesus in my heart, down in my heart..."